New Star Trek Film

I heard a rumor yesterday about a new Star Trek film in the works. Needless to say, I am so incredibly excited! It's being put together by J.J. Abrams, the creator of the tv show Lost. It is a prequel to the original series we all know and love and will feature a young James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock. Whoever is cast as James T. Kirk, in my opinion, will be the luckiest person ever! Live long and Prosper!

My Construction Job

In early 1997 I returned home from serving a mission for my church after being gone for two years. I was now 21, ready to start my life again! Ready to go to school and have a job…A real job. I worked here and there before my mission, a clerk for 2 weeks at the local “Pak N Save”, a bus boy at a strip mall lunch joint for a month and work here and there for my Uncle Mark’s business. But this time it was different. I was a man now, a man who just completed serving two years as a missionary in the projects of the east coast. I can handle the hard stuff. A member of my church told me of a job opportunity at his construction company that I could have if I wanted. I, being a man now, jumped at the chance for a real job. I immediately ran out and bought a car, my first stick shift!
The first day on the job was a challenge. I showed up in my jeans, t-shirt and new pair of Vans shoes. Ready to start, I quickly found the Forman and reported to work. “Where are your tools?” he asked me. “Uh.” was my reply. I spent the rest of the day hauling unbelievably heavy metal pipes around the construction site. Maybe this wasn’t for me.
Day two on the job went a little different. It was now my job to install the unbelievably heavy metal pipes onto the ceiling of the building. I climbed my 9 foot ladder with the heavy pipe on my shoulder. It only took me 20 minutes to get to the top. I some how managed to get the pipe close enough to the ceiling that I was able to slip it into the metal brace. Pleased with myself and recently relieved of the cumbersome pipe I started to move down the ladder. Unfortunately, I slipped. I fell the entire 9 feet directly into a 4 foot concrete trench someone had dug for some reason. I hit both legs on the sides of the trench on my way down and was sure they were both broken into small unfixable shards of bone. As I stood there, rooted in my own pain, laughter broke out suddenly. My fall happened while every one was watching me. Humiliated and hurt, I pulled myself out of the trench and managed to stand. I was trying hard to force the tears away and barely managed to squeak out the words “I quit.” More laughter. I walked back to my car and drove home. Now cursing the fact that I had purchased a stick shift every time by mangled leg touched the clutch. For the next few months I had the worlds largest and most green and purple bruises up and down my legs as my only proof that I had ever been a construction worker.

An Easter Surprise

With Easter having recently passed, I remembered something funny from Easter 3 years ago. My youngest daughter Maile Rose was 1 year old at the time. We never have the "Easter Bunny" hide real eggs because we wont eat them and we don't want to be wasteful. Instead he hides chocolate covered marshallow eggs, which we feel are much more delicious. When Maile rose found her first egg she was hesitant about picking it up. She stared at it for a minute. Then she said "yucky poo-poos." I'm sure you have all seen these eggs and know that they could resemble a turd. Of course, my wife and I found this to be hilarious. We tried to tell her to pick it up and put it in her basket but she wasn't going for it. We had our older daughter Ellie pick it up to show Maile Rose but again she said "yucky poo-poos." We told her it wasn't poop but she didn't believe us so we had Ellie take a bite. We then saw one of the best facial expressions you could ever imagine seeing in your life. It was a look of shock and awe and amazement of what that 1 year old saw - her big sister biting into poo. It was quite an amusing day for us. It still took us another half hour to convince her that the eggs were edible but we finally did. Now it's her favorite Easter candy.

Avast Ye Scurvy Scum

I'm sure everyone knows why I look the way I do. You know - the the crazy long hair and the unkempt beard. I wasn't doing it to win a good looks contest. I wanted to be a pirate. Ever since I was little and even still as an adult, the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland was my favorite. Before seeing the movie in 2003 I had made up my mind that it was going to be a great film, and it was. Before I saw it for the first time I never imagined that I would be or could be an actor, but as we were leaving the theater I told my wife that if there was going to be a sequel then I was going to be in it. I know she thought nothing of the statement since it seemed random but she couldn't see the fire that started inside me. I was so fascinated with how cinema can make anything a reality. I never really thought about it before but I had assumed that to be an actor you needed to have friends or family in Hollywood, which I did not. Nevertheless, I spent the next two months on the internet trying to figure out how to get into the "club." I'm sure my friends and family thought that when I found it impossible, I would give up. But, I'm stubborn. Within a couple months of seeing P1 (the first Pirates of the Caribbean), I had my first role as a waiter in a Hallmark channel movie. I didn't have any lines but you could see me clear as anything. I built upon that, doing background work and local commercials. I met people such as Richard Gere, Brooke Sheilds, and Lou Diamond Phillips, who is a great guy. Then came the news that there would be two sequels to Pirates. I spent a lot more time on the internet researching the crew and casting agents. I found who was doing the background casting and went to LA to register with them. I stopped cutting my hair and I shaved for the last time at Thanksgiving 2004. In December 2004 there was an open casting call in Hollywood and I was excited as can be. My wife went with me to the cattle call. About 1100 other people wanted to be in the sequels too. My wife and I saw the line that went on for a couple blocks and she said "Honey, look at all these people. Do you think you really have a chance?" I smiled and responded "Yep. It's my turn." Her question didn't bother me because any normal person would have thought the same thing. But I had made up my mind that I was going to be a pirate and nothing else mattered. If they were going to pick someone out of 1100 people then they would have to pick me. They never tell you anything right away so I had to wait. After a while I heard they were ready to assemble a cast. I had bought a second cell phone to use for acting stuff only so if it rang, I knew it was for a good reason. Well it rang one day in January 2005 and I felt like I won the lottery. They said I would be used as an extra for sure but they wanted me to go to Disney studios the next day to audition for Gore Verbinski, the director. Besides my wedding and my childrens births, this was the best day of my life. I auditioned to be a pirate in Captain Jacks crew and was excited and very impatient. Once again they didn't tell me anything right away. They planned to start filming in March 2005 and film both sequels back to back. In February 2005 they realeased two lists of names of about 25-30 that would work between both movies. My name was on the 2nd list. I did the math and it came out to be about a 2.7% (yes, 2point7%) chance of me being picked, but I told you it was my turn. I went to Disney studios two more times to meet with the directors and assistants. I have to be honest though - After a year and a half of no grooming and not having worked on the film yet, I really began to wonder if it was going to happen. I did have some doubts but I wasn't going to give up. I had been told that I would probably be used in P3 but not P2. That was fine as long as they got me in but the days continued to pass. Then came April 12, 2006 and my special cell phone rang once again. I was told that I needed to come right away and get fit for a pirate costume. They needed to add a scene to P2. It was supposed to be completed already since it will be in theaters July 7, 2006. It is apparently an important scene though and a set up for P3. So I will be working in P2 afterall and they said I would be used quite a bit in P3 which resumes filming in August 2006. The news could hardly be better. It's finally going to happen. I'm a pirate! Yo ho, yo ho! To everyone that has been excited for me, I thank you very much. It has fueled my fire. The support from my wife has been great. Tuesday April 18, 2006 is when I film for P2 with many more days to come later on P3. I will post pictures for those interested. If you want a moral to the story, here it is. You've all heard it before but I proved it - You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. G'day Mateys!

Welcome to the Internet!

I just wanted to publicly thank Mr. Al Gore for his inventing the Internet. Now that I've gotten that out of the way...here is what I need: Internet popularity. Cory and I are trying out hardest to get this blog and our videos the attention that (we feel) it deserves. What we need from each of you, the loyal readers, to do is:

1. Bookmark this site and visit often. The more hits we get the more we show up on search engines. Also, we're updating with new posts on a daily basis so far, so if you don't keep checking back you may miss something good!
2. Tell all your friends (and enemies) to check it out! They can also add it to their Favorites as well, heck, you can set it as your homepage even!
3. Post comments on our stuff! At the bottom of each post there is a "comments" link. When you click that you can read what people have said. There is a "post comment" link there as well so you can add your two cents. No account is needed to post, you may simply click "Other" or "Anonymous" if you like! The comments let us know you are reading and what you think. Please be more descriptive the simply "You guys Suck".

Thank you for your help in making this page one of the Internet greats someday. We have put, and will continue to put hard work into what we do simply to bring a smile to all your beautiful faces (the ugly ones too, you know who you are)!

The Sound of Music

I love music. It potrays emotion like nothing else, except maybe a Hallmark commercial. Unfortunately for me, I have no musical talent. I was born into a family of musicians but the gene skipped right over me. Growing up, my mom performed in musicals and I have uncles and cousins in bands with CDs in circulation. My mom even sang The National Anthem at a baseball game. But as for me - I cant even fart in tune. I do listen to music all the time though. One particular type of music that I don't really like is Country. I know everyone else jokes how the lyrics are always about the dog dying, the wife leaving, something about beer, and Sasquatch stealing the truck but I'm not sure if that's true. I can't get past the first line. All the twangy guitars and the instruments that no one has ever heard of. What the heck is a Dulcimer? Every song sounds exactly the same. That's why I listen to SKA.

BundtHoles!

Check out our new video for Bundtholes! It's the tasty new treat, sure to be a hit! Let us know what you think by posting a comment below. We have to give mad props to Jordan Seavers for his awesome song. We were only able to use a few seconds of it in the video, but you can download the entire mp3 right here. It's sure to hit the top 40 charts soon!

A day I'll never forget

An interesting thing happened to me when I was a teenager. To get right to the point - I unwillingly got a second hole in my butt. I know that piercings are a popular trend, but I have never pierced anything on purpose. I was at my Grandmothers house where my uncle also lived. Him and I were going to a show in Oakland later that evening and Grandma was gone for the day so we were just goofing around. I was in the spare room pretending like I could play my uncles drums but really just making a bunch of noise. The stool I was sitting on was not of the highest quality and was very wobbly. While banging away I slipped off the stool and landed on my rear end. I instantly had the worst charlie horse I have ever felt in my life. I got up and was rubbing that spot on my bum when I felt a hole in my brand new white Levis. Confused, I looked down to see the ring that belongs on the front of the kick drum. If you are familiar with drum kits then you will know that this ring has two large metal spikes that have a purpose of digging in to the stage so the drum doesn't move with every kick. When I saw a spike sticking up where I fell, and realized what happened - I wasn't very excited. Starting to panic, I ran into Grandmas bathroom to assess the damage. I pulled down my white pants with a hole in them to look at the moon in the mirror. There was a large hole in my left butt cheek that I could see in to (those drum spikes were about as big around as my pinky). With a sharp, clean piercing there wasn't a blood rush yet. Quickly getting light-headed, I had to figure out what to do. No way was I going to the doctor to show him my butt. I started rummaging through the drawers and cabinets in Grandmas bathroom and I hit the jackpot - a tube of Neosporin. I quickly unscrewed the cap and squirted the whole tube in, filling up my unwanted hole. I stuck five or six band-aids over it and wanted to pretend like nothing happened. By now though, my uncle was wondering what all the ruckus was. I came out and tried to explain but as I was walking I started slowly losing consciousness and passed out on the couch. When I awoke my uncle said we could skip the show but I didn't want to. The two hour drive to Oakland wasn't too enjoyable beacuse I had to sit on my right butt cheek the whole time. In fact, that's how I sat for the next two weeks. I now have a battle scar and an interesting story but luckily I survived.

The Future Isn't Here

It would be an understatement to say that I am a little disappointed with the lack of "Futuristic" technology. Maybe I watched too much Star Trek, or Jetsons growing up, but I expected more out of the 2000's. I know it's been said a lot but, Where the (bad word) is my Flying Car! Here we are, using up the Earths oil and polluting the air like suckers. You know what I think? I think that the big oil and car industry have flying cars. That's right...They have them and won't share because flying cars wouldn't run on oil, and then they wouldn't get the profits they get by having the world in a full nelson! So next time you're stuck in traffic, try looking up. I bet you'll see a few oil tycoons flying in their cars, high above traffic, smoking cigars made out of baby seals and one hundred dollar bills. And that's only the start!
There are scientist working round the clock trying to figure out how to make sure that our laundry smells like fresh air, but we haven't figured out yet how to make food that is actually good for you taste like all the great food that is actually bad for you! You know why America is fat? All our great tasting food, that is advertised on television, is bad for you! I am one of the "overweight" Americans! I know what I'm taking about. Why does a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese (DQP) taste so good, yet instantly clogs all my major arteries and veins to the point where, I am sure, my blood is the constancy of Crisco? Why can't science take some of the repulsive foods, like Brussel Sprouts, and make them taste like a DQP? I'm not saying that all the good food tastes bad. My wife is actually a great cook and cooks wonderful things that are good for me. But all those commercials on the tv about how wonderful it would be to eat a giant slab of eggs, wrapped in a sausage, covered in bacon cooked in butter, between to pieces of french toast with built in syrup for breakfast are a little hard to ignore!
I think that the problem with our lack of Futuristic Technology is due to the fact that America (a place filled with the top Scientists and MIT) is constantly at war with other countries. We pour trillions and jillions of dollars to go poking around in far away places when here at home we don't even have flying cars and great tasting brussel sprouts. Come on America, get your priorities straight! Who's going to develop these things for us? France?

eBay

I am just like everyone else and I am down with ebay. If you can imagine it - someone is selling it on ebay. Plus they have this "buy it now" button just in case you just cant wait to have a celebrities kidney stones or chewed gum. I have bought and sold all kinds of fun stuff but there are some things I come across that make no sense to me. One thing that irritates me is how everyone puts the word "rare" in the listing with bold letters and asterisks. Your item is *NOT* rare or you wouldn't have it or be selling it for 99 cents. Stop putting that word in you auction. The only exception would be if you were selling steaks and you listed a live cow. Otherwise, QUIT IT.
I am amazed sometimes with what people try to sell. The other day I was searching around and came across an auction where someone was selling t-shirts, which is not so weird, but the shirts were dirty and torn and had a message on the front that read " I survived 9/11 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Can you believe that? What is wrong with people? So I read through the description and found the word "rare", so i scrolled up to see the quantity available and it was like 10,000 or something. I wonder how many times "buy it now" was clicked. In the fine print at the bottom I found something interesting. It said "When purchasing this item you will also recieve a free one way ticket staight to hell." Yippee!! I bet that started a "buy it now" frenzy. Have fun.