The Future Isn't Here

It would be an understatement to say that I am a little disappointed with the lack of "Futuristic" technology. Maybe I watched too much Star Trek, or Jetsons growing up, but I expected more out of the 2000's. I know it's been said a lot but, Where the (bad word) is my Flying Car! Here we are, using up the Earths oil and polluting the air like suckers. You know what I think? I think that the big oil and car industry have flying cars. That's right...They have them and won't share because flying cars wouldn't run on oil, and then they wouldn't get the profits they get by having the world in a full nelson! So next time you're stuck in traffic, try looking up. I bet you'll see a few oil tycoons flying in their cars, high above traffic, smoking cigars made out of baby seals and one hundred dollar bills. And that's only the start!
There are scientist working round the clock trying to figure out how to make sure that our laundry smells like fresh air, but we haven't figured out yet how to make food that is actually good for you taste like all the great food that is actually bad for you! You know why America is fat? All our great tasting food, that is advertised on television, is bad for you! I am one of the "overweight" Americans! I know what I'm taking about. Why does a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese (DQP) taste so good, yet instantly clogs all my major arteries and veins to the point where, I am sure, my blood is the constancy of Crisco? Why can't science take some of the repulsive foods, like Brussel Sprouts, and make them taste like a DQP? I'm not saying that all the good food tastes bad. My wife is actually a great cook and cooks wonderful things that are good for me. But all those commercials on the tv about how wonderful it would be to eat a giant slab of eggs, wrapped in a sausage, covered in bacon cooked in butter, between to pieces of french toast with built in syrup for breakfast are a little hard to ignore!
I think that the problem with our lack of Futuristic Technology is due to the fact that America (a place filled with the top Scientists and MIT) is constantly at war with other countries. We pour trillions and jillions of dollars to go poking around in far away places when here at home we don't even have flying cars and great tasting brussel sprouts. Come on America, get your priorities straight! Who's going to develop these things for us? France?