Tuesday, May 05, 2009


When I was a lad I had a goldfish, Gumby. It lived in a regular fish bowl with my little brothers fish, Pokey. I uncharacteristically took good care of Gumby. I would clean the bowl regularly and fed him once a day. Then one day tragity struck our small Lime Crest Court home. One morning my sister awoke and found Gumby on the kitchen floor. Apparantly he jumped out of the bowl, killing himself, comitting Sushiside. It seemed like an open and shut case and a tragic loss. I however was not convinced.
It's was my speculation that Gumby was lured to the edge of the bowl and pushed out...by Pokey! What was obvious to me right from the start was the simple fact that there was no Sushiside note. Gumby seemed like a well adjusted fish. He swam in circles all day long and ate when fed, giving no indication of a deep seeded depression and no reason to kill himself. I demanded an autopsey of the body, but was informed that it was too late. He had already been sent to Goldfish heaven, via the toilet.
Without the proper evidence, I knew I could never make a case against Pokey. I would stare into the fish bowl and mutter "I know it was you." to that evil little fish and I swear, sometimes, that little punk would wink at me knowingly.
A few days later, another goldfish was purchased. His name was Gumby 2. When he was placed in the bowl, he swam over to Pokey and exchanged a "High Five" by slapping fins. I finaly knew the motive. Bump the bowl mate out of the way to make room for your friends at the pet store. My plea for justice fell on deaf ears when I tried to phone the police.
I alone was aware of the decitefulness of that little fish. I, being a child, had to live under the same roof as that murdering fish. Fortunatly for me, both the remaining fish were dead in a few weeks. They were promptly sent to Goldfish hell, via the toilet.


Blogger Jaime said...

i remember that day like it were yesterday. poor gumby. i had no idea pokey did that. i hope he's burning!!! burning in hellfire!!!!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I think one of our goldfish ate the other two.

7:32 PM  

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