I Shot A Gun

I am not a paranoid person. Let me rephrase that, I am not an overly paranoid person. Yes I believe the Illuminati is running the world. Yes I believe we are no longer being represented in our Government. Yes I believe that every person on the street is secretly broadcasting my exact location to the Secret Soviet Union. But I don't think this makes me paranoid. Okay, that last one kinda does. I have been listening to Coast to Coast AM for a few months now and have been hearing of the impending social outbreaks. The rising fuel cost is raising the food prices in the country. It's also becoming increasingly difficult for our Independent Truckers to deliver the pricey food to the stores thus becoming harder for us to buy the food. An economist on NPR said that the US is heading for food riots soon. These aren't going to be like the riots we've seen in the past where the downtown area of Los Angeles or Detroit are ransacked. These riots are going to occur in our neighborhoods. The economist advice to the host: Plant food in your backyard and buy a gun. I've done the first part. As I wait for my crop of chickens to grow (Just plant an egg right?) I've been contemplating the second part.
I've somehow lived my whole life without firing a gun. I had the thought, if I am to purchase a gun I should probably shoot one first. I gathered some some people I trust not to shoot me (Tony, Aaron and Christian) and headed out to the Elk Grove Gun Room. The man behind the counter was very helpful in taking our money and pointing to the rules. We decided to rent two different guns. A 9 mm Glock and a .38 revolver.
We put on our eye protection and ear protection, grabbed our targets, guns and ammo and headed into the shooting range. When we set foot in the range we noticed a man, alone, firing a large caliber weapon. Every time he shot the deafening concussion caused us all to jump. (I don't know about the rest of them, but I jumped with giddy excitement, not scared...) I took the Glock into the lane and stared at it for a moment before I realized I don't know how to put the bullet in the clip. Christian, being the one of us familiar with guns (ie. the only real man), loaded the clip. I slipped the clip into the gun, aimed it at the target downrange, pressed the button near the handle that slid the top into place and froze. I had the realization that I was holding a powerful, very lethal weapon. I assumed the stance that I've seen so many times on television cop shows and squeezed the trigger. The gun's report and the flash of the muzzle were followed by the sweet intoxicating smell of fireworks. (On a side note, ladies, if you want a man to fall in love with you, fireworks perfume.) I was surprised to find that the kick of the gun wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be. In fact, it felt pretty good. I squeezed off the other nine rounds and brought the target back. I was pleased with how well I did. A few shots hit the bulls eye and the rest were pretty close. I knew all that time playing Duck Hunt on the Nintendo wasn't for nothing! We took turns shooting the two guns. We shot a total of 150 rounds between us. I'm not sure which of the two guns I preferred. This experience is on my "Most Fun I've Ever Had" list. Not the top position, but on the list. And I'm pretty sure I can now say that I'm a man. Or at least one step closer to becoming one.
You can listen to a Robot read this to you here: