TPC Solutions: Gas Prices

We at the think tank of The Primate Cage have decided to offer the world solutions to impending problems we all face. We have been watching the planet from our lofty perch and can no longer sit around and let the world suffer. We will call these segments TPC Solutions. This week we are going to tackle the issue of high gas prices. Not only will we tackle it, but we will put in a full nelson, give it a wedgie, a swirly and make it dance the truffle shuffle. I am sure you are all aware of the of price gas and it's ever increasing lunacy. People are becoming outraged as oil prices skyrocket. The controllers of the oil get richer and richer while the average person gets poorer and poorer. I hear quite often in this day and age of more fuel efficient vehicles. I think that this is a temporary solution. The oil we use today is a finite supply. Eventually, the car that can go 500 miles to the gallon will have nothing to put in it's tank rendering it useless. We as a people need an alternative. The Primate Cage has two. The first idea is to toss out the traditional car and replace it with Rickshaws. For those of you who don't know what a rickshaw is, it's a buggy that is pulled by a human. I know this doesn't seem like a viable solution, but hear me out. Instead of being pulled by your average human, I recommend using a super human, with bionic limbs or pumped full of steroids. Imagine cruising down the highway in an open air buggy being pulled at 75 mph by a super human with gigantic legs. Paradise. Except for the person pulling the buggy. Which leads me to my second idea. Nuclear cars. One simple nuclear engine can run a car for many hundreds of years without the need for refueling. The idea of nuclear technology on our roads may be scary to some of those who recall the events of Chernobyl, or 3 mile island or those crazy movies in the 50's where the nuclear radiated ant attacks the Nevada city. But I assure you it's is quite safe. Nuclear engines have been powering many of our proud Submarines for years with only one or two nuclear accidents. And look at the bright side, if you are rear ended and the engine does meltdown, you won't have to worry about getting a new car any time soon.