Philadelphia Adventure 10.11.07

I wrote this a few months ago...I didn't post because I thought it was a little harsh. I re-read it and thought it was funny, although, it no longer really applies because the fine people here at Domus have pretty much solved most of the noise issues we've had.


My lovely new Domus apartment is loud. I don't mean 1970's style olive green shag carpet and sea shell decorations. I mean I can't sleep at night due to all the noise. It's getting ludicrous. On average I'm getting about 10 hours of sleep a week. That's right a week! I am getting to the point of sheer exhaustion. Hang on, my keyboard just turned into a pile of snakes...oh, and I'm hallucinating now as well. (Don't worry Mom, I'm not really hallucinating...yet.) As I lay awake in the wee hours of the morning listening to the constant metal thumping sound of the trash compactor directly below our apartment as it makes it's dull thud every 20 seconds and lasts for hours at a time, I think to myself "It's not that loud, just go to sleep." Yet I can't stop listening. It's like some form of maddening torture. I imagine at Guantanamo bay in the not so secret CIA prison some inmate is being held in a swanky apartment and every time he tries to fall asleep, they turn on the machine. I imagine this machine is fondly called the "Thumping Sound of Madness." After one or two nights of this,the prisoner will gladly spill the beans on whatever they are asked, just as long as they turn off the machine! I feel like calling the front desk of our place just to tell them I'm ready to talk! But they don't ask any questions!
If that were the only sound, I think I could handle it. But it's not. Our apartment is located in the worst possible location in the building. We are right off the elevators, so when people come home at 2 am being loud, we can hear it. We are right next to the loading dock, so when they open and close the giant garage doors, we hear it. Especially when they decide to let someone move in what must be elephants and loaded hair triggered shotguns at 11 o'clock at night until 1 am. Being so conveniently located next to the loading dock, we also get to have the giant big rig trucks park right next to our windows while they yell to other people "Hey Youz! Gettoutahere!" at 5 in the morning. Or like on several occasions, urinate right out side our window. Or go through the big garbage bin rummaging as loud as they can at all hours of the night for who knows what. It must be their misplaced Diamond collection for how fervently they rummage. We are also right next to the garbage chute which runs the entire 8 floors of the building. I don't know what it is about the rich people here at Domus, but they love to toss their garbage between midnight and 4 am. And we hear it as it clunks and clangs all the way down the chute, which is also (lucky us) our walls. That isn't a soft maddening noise. It's a loud "What on earth was that!" noise. The first few times it happened we awoke with a start and did the "Someone must be in the apartment hitting our stuff with a metal bat" walk around the place until we discovered what it actually was. Also, the brick building right out side our window is the subway, which runs all night long. It sounds like a great rushing fast moving train that can be heard loud and clear from our home. We are also right next to a few hospitals, so the constant sirens blaring at all hours of the night is also quite disturbing. And to top it all off, we have the worlds loudest "Air Conditioner Condensation Pump" which is located right next to our daughters bed room. It sounds like an industrial strength vacuum cleaner being turned on suddenly and lasts for about 10 seconds, which is enough time for it to wake our kid and bug the living crap out of us. We have had the Domus experts looking at it to see if there is any way it can be silenced. The response was "Turn your air conditioner way down so it's cold and doesn't have condensation." To do this, we would have to freeze out our unit costing us tons of money, and we would all have constant colds. No thanks.
All of these issues combine into one giant mess for me. No sleep. On top of it all, we are paying 3000 bucks a month to get no sleep. If they reduced our rent...a lot...I think I could sleep better. Part of me just freaks out in the middle of the night as I lay there listening to all the sounds thinking "I'm paying so much money for THIS (insert cuss words)!" I'm almost certain it would be more peaceful if our apartment was situated directly over an Indian burial ground instead of where it is. Then all we would have to deal with are those pesky ghosts.