Philadelphia Adventure Update 10-03-07

I realize I have been neglecting my Blogular duties as of late. I am trying to make up for it with an extra long post, so read on if you like, or ignore it and get on with your life. Here we go!
I would first like to state that I have not let our fancy new lifestyle and living with the fabulously wealthy change me at all. I am the same old Tracy Constantine that I was back in Elk Grove. Of course Laura reminded me this morning that I do introduce myself by the name Professor Pennypacker when I'm around people from our new place. Here is a picture of what I look like now, just to prove there hasn't been any changes.
Now that we got that out of the way, let's continue shall we? I took some photos on my walk around the University of Pennsylvania campus a few days ago. The school was founded in the 1700's by a man named Ben Franklin. There are a few statues of him around the campus, like classic Captain Kirk in Chair pose at the start of the blog post. I am truly impressed with this campus and how much it looks like Mr. Toads wild ride at Disneyland. Here are some pictures of the classic architecture. This campus just oozes fancy shmancyness at every corner. I am quite impressed. There are several people walking around talking on cell phones congratulating themselves at how awesomely rich they are all day long. This University is indeed a Rich Person factory. I assume they have a required course on caviar consumption and how to speak to the "Help".
I then found this statue. It seems like your every day run of the mill statue of a very important professor. That is until you look closer. If you'll take notice of his left foot. He is standing on a bat/snake demon thingy. I am not making this up. Here is a closer picture. I asked a very important looking man as he walked by what the deal was with the demon thing. His answer was exactly this "Hmm. I've never noticed that before. That's weird."
I then took a closer look at his face. It has the unmistakable expression of "Oh My Gosh, I think I just stepped in something awful" look. I have no idea what kind of symbolism this bat demon could be. Unless this professor conquered his demons? Like alcoholism, or gambling, or earning too many diplomas. Or perhaps it's a quite literal representation of when this man single footadly stomped these unholy bat demons out of existence. I suppose we may never know. Unless I were to Google it...but I don't have that kind of time!
Moving on. My daughter and I went to the UPenn museum of very old slightly damaged goods. It turned out to be quite dull. Except for a few highlights. Like these...
This guy wins the award for the best mustache of any of the former presidents of this museum. The closest runner up was a woman...Then we move on to this very cool crystal ball on top of a dragon. I looked into it and saw the future. Only about 20 minutes into the future, which isn't really very helpful. Maybe that's why it's here instead of in use somewhere.
Then there was the Egypt wing. It was pretty cool. Especially the MUMMY room! There were actual mummy's in there, which is a bit creepy. I bet when the Egyptian Priests were preparing the bodies for mummification they weren't expecting the final mummy's to be laid to an eternal rest in a Museum in Philadelphia. I found this skull to be particularly interesting. It had no markings or descriptions. It was simply a skull sitting with a plate and a book. I am assuming that his name was something very Egyptian, like Carl...and that we was reading a book and eating dinner when suddenly, he choked to death. His final wish was to have his head removed and sent to Philadelphia to rest in a museum. That's what I think anyway.
Then we move on to this guy. The only thing cool about this statue was that it confirmed my belief that the Romans had very cool hair.
The last cool thing about the museum was a bunch of gold coins from the Constantine empire days. I tried to explain to the guard why the coins should belong to me as my last name is Constantine. I even went as far as to say that I was sent here from the past to collect the coins for my Dad, the Emperor Constantine. The guard was busy on her cell phone so I simply moved on.
Which brings us to our last stop. The University of Pennsylvania stadium. You may not think that it is very significant. It's just an ordinary stadium where a very mediocre team plays football. You see that's where you are wrong. I explained before, this school was founded by Ben Franklin. At this very stadium Ben Franklin fought Thomas Jefferson in a gladiator match. Here is what I think it may have looked like.

I hope you have enjoyed this super sized edition of the Philadelphia Adventure! Stay Tuned for more!

Tracy