Friday, August 31, 2007

Well, here we are in Philadelphia

After a few days of driving across the wilderness I have received an appreciation for the Pioneers who got into their cars and drove across the plains. Upon arriving in Philadelphia we discovered what a dirty stinky city it can be. I think that Laura's Dad and I drove into the city from the wrong side of the tracks. Unfortunately, the wrong side of the tracks is where our apartment was supposed to be. The good news is that it wasn't ready for us when we got there allowing us to break the lease and find other arrangements. We were uncertain as what to do at first, then a kind young man helped us make up our minds when he yelled "What's Crack-a-lackin' Cracker!" at me as I stood on the side of the road near our "new" place. We decided to find a new place nearer to the University campus. The crap town apartment management company put us up in the Sheraton hotel in University City. Boy oh boy was it swanky! Right next door was a beautiful apartment complex that was brand new, and oozed security and comfort. It is called DOMUS. You can see their site here http://www.domuspa.com (Don't choke when you see the prices, we have one of the smallest apartments). They made us jump through tons of hoops and do a few dances until they would let us sign any lease on the apartment. They also made my Mom and Dad jump though a few hoops and do some dances as well, and because they are such wonderful folks, the people who control the keys at Domus finally gave in and let us have an apartment. The problem is, we can't move in until next week. So, for now, we are spending a fortune staying in the Sheraton hotel. If you are reading this, and are rich, feel free to send me tons of money as that is what we really need right now.
On another note, I'm sure you are all wondering what happened in the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic Balls of Fury match...Stay tuned, I will be posting the final update soon! Peace out my friends and enemies.

Tracy

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Moving to Pilladelphia PA

This is just a little note to let anyone who doesn't already know, that Laura and I will be moving to Philadelphia PA this week. I plan on posting still to this site to let everyone know about our lives and what's going on and junk...so, bookmark this page. I'll wait, do it now... Done? Great! I'll see you around then!

Counter Strike Comic

I just had some ideas that struck me funny. Here it is.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Tennis Update August 16th

It's been a while Tennis Fans! With Tracy's upcoming move to Philadelphia, the matches for the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic have had to be put on stand by. A game was played this evening much to the fans delight. It was the most epic battle these two rivals have ever played.
If you recall, in the last match the rule book was discovered to be an Easy Bake Oven cook book. With the rules officially out the window mayhem ensued.
Tracy showed up with a team of Robots and Spock on his side all playing at the same time.
Tony quickly countered by summoning the most evil army of tennis players ever assembled.
Tony took the first match 6-4 without incident. As Tony and his Entourage were leaving the court, Tracy challenged Tony to another match. Tony shrugged off the challenge and proceeded to leave the court. Tracy then did the unthinkable by calling Tony a pansy. Tony wheeled around and accepted the second match.
Tracy unleashed his secret weapon. A Tennis Playing Tennis-o-matic bot 6000.
With 360 degrees of tennis playing power, Tony's team didn't stand a chance. To ensure victory, Tracy also devised a scheme to remove all the oxygen from Tony's side of the court. Tony's eye balls quickly bulged to abnormal size allowing Tracy and his team of Robots to take the match 6-4.
With the games set squarely at 9-8, it's anyones game to be champion of the Summer 2007 Tennis Clasic!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Tennis Update August 8th

Today was the third day in a row the Tennis Champions Tony and Tracy fought in their epic battles that will go down in history as the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic. Tracy has been threatening to replace his legs with Robot legs for sometime now and stunned the crowed when he showed up with not only Robot legs, but with Robot arms, torso, and head. "Yes, I'm not only a robot now, I'm also 25 feet tall. Take that Gigantor!" Tracy was quoted when asked about his new robot physique at the start of the match.
Tony seemed unphased by the new challenge. The game began. Tracy quickly took the lead in the match and it appeared to be an easy win. Then Tony's strategy kicked in. A mob of Giant Glowing Eyed Clowns crowded around the back fence on Tracy's side of the court. Tracy said "They were just standing there, waving, and chuckling. It was so creepy! I couldn't think about anything other then trying to to get to close to the fence. Clowns eat robots you know!"
Tracy's game fell apart and Tony took the victory with a stunning power hit. "He moved faster then anyone would have thought possible for a Giant." Said a spectator. "Yeah, I've been saving up that power move for a while now" said Tony. "I saw the blue orb blinking next to my power meter, I held down the A button, and let it go unleashing the fury!" "This is so not fair. Clowns have to be against the rules." said Tracy after the loss. The Judge opened the rule book, flipped a few pages and shook his head. "It's legal if they don't come onto the court." the Judge said. Tracy was incredulous. He snatched the rule book from the Judge to much protest. "This is a cook book for an Easy Bake Oven!" Tracy exclaimed. The crowd gasped. With the rule book discovered as a fraud, the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic is now a No Rules event. With this realization, Tony kicked Tracy into a deep hole. If he can get out, the next Match should prove exciting! Stay Tuned!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Tennis Update August 7th

The game played this evening in the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic was not a disappointment. Tony and Tracy, bitter rivals and mortal enemies, gave the most evenly matched performances of their illustrious tennis careers.
Tony took a commanding lead in the start of the match, and it would appear to most that he was going to win without a struggle. As the play went 5-3 Tracy's secret weapon kicked in. Minja Assassins. For those not privy to Ninja folklore, a Minja is a midget ninja. Tracy hired two Minja assassins to take out Tony's legs during play. This worked marvelously for Tracy and secured him the ultimate win in the tie breaker match at 6-6.
Tony offered this as his excuse for losing. "I wasn't playing my best. I've a had a weird day. I went to the Outback Steakhouse for lunch today and ordered an Awesome Blossom. What I got was that obnoxious girl from that crappy television show from the nineties "Blossom". If that wasn't bad enough, she brought her stupid brother Joey along. I kept hearing "Whoa" in my head all day!"
The match quickly turned ugly when Tony blasted Tracy in the stomach during a crucial point exchange. Tracy countered a few points later with a punishing blow to Tony's midsection causing the Giant Tony to say "I think a fly just landed on me!" as he brushed the blow away. Tracy's tennis battle wound can be seen in the picture below (highlighted by the Red Circle), be warned, it's not pretty.
The Summer 2007 Tennis Classic is now Tracy's advantage with a commanding 8-6 lead. Stay tuned all for the next exciting round!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Tennis Update August 6th

The two rivals played a round of Tennis in the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic last night. As the game went underway, the score was 7-5 in favor of Tracy. If you recall Tracy won two consecutive games in the last match sparking a riot on the streets of Faketopolis. From this reporters opinion both Tracy and Tony played very well. One fan said of the match "They were both moving so fast I could hardly see more then a blur...of course I have been drinking homemade moonshine, so that might have something to do with it."
Tony managed to secure the win at the end of play 6 games to 4. In the press conference proceeding the match Tony (having to reduce himself to regular human size to fit in the suit) said of the game "Tracy wasn't on his A game today. I've had a more difficult match against a kitten!" This infuriated Tracy. "If I recall the game correctly, you cried at least twice!" Tony then stood and shouted back "I had something in my eye and you know it!" to which Tracy replied "Yeah, it's called girly emotions, you big baby!" Tony quickly composed himself and took a seat. "I was wrong. Tracy is not worse at tennis then a kitten." He paused. "He is worse at tennis then a one eared, one legged, one eyed, 50 year old kitten with bronchitis!" Tracy then kicked his chair back and turned into the Hulk once again. Tony assumed Giant size and tore off his suit. The US Marines were quickly dispatched to the room as they were standing by and distracted both opponents with a giant cake. If both opponents can regain some composure, the game Tomorrow, should be a good one! Stay tuned to find out if Tony can close the gap, or will Tracy take a commanding lead once again!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

A Stunning Upset

The Tennis world was stunned today as Tracy took a commanding lead in the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic by winning two games. Crowds of Tony supporters flooded the streets of Faketopolis in protest this afternoon enraged by the upset. "It's just not fair!" cried one of the younger protestors. "Tracy just isn't that good! Two games, come on, it's rigged! What is this, Pro Wrestling?" said another.
Late in the afternoon Tracy supporters arrived on scene shouting their support for their player. "We've been too ashamed to leave our houses before Tracy took the lead. Now we're able to show our faces again! Who knows when Tony will take the lead back? We're going to live it up!" one of the Tracy supporters was heard to say as he downed a 2 liter bottle of Go Girl.
Jubilation and jeers quickly turned to Chaos when Tony the Giant showed up in the early evening screaming in protest, annoyance and shame. Fans from both camps quickly turned on each other starting a massive riot. "There was looting, fights...you know, typical riot shenanigans." said Officer Krupski of the riot police. "Look, you get two players like Tony and Tracy together playing an all out grudge match in front of the whole world, it's just bound to get ugly" He said as he tossed a canister of tear gas into the crowd. The whole riot died down after a few hours when the riot police began to pump in the musical tones of Neil Diamond into the crowd.
Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of the Summer 2007 Tennis Classic "Balls of Fury".